I don't use this any more. But I felt that I should keep up the tradition and write down what happened this year because it's been a good one.
It started out with me in tears in a toilet while the new year came in. I wasn't in love with my boyfriend. I'd just made myself think I was, I needed just one small reason to not hate this town. Something so that when I came back, I had something to come back to. I'd settled. We had hardly anything in common. He didn't understand so much about me. I realised all this after meeting someone, who in the space of 2 months knew me better than anyone. Someone who was so similar to me. I was falling in love and it was nothing like what I'd made myself feel before. This was someone who took the effort to see me, rather than me always being the one to go see them. They looked after me when I was ill or down or when I didn't even need it. They paid attention to me without me having to ask. Now I'm not stupid, everything's great until they get what they want right? Everyone sucks up to try and impress someone. This fear stuck with me but it came to the point that whether it was going to work or not, I couldn't carry on like I was. So I destroyed someone I promised I wouldn't. I'd feel worse if it wasn't for the fact that when I look back now I only feel annoyed by all the shitty little things I put up with. Now I had the choice of being with someone who could easily be someone completely different to who I thought, someone who knew all my bad points. Ironically, this was when they promised nothing would change.
This is the person who has been with me at all the best parts of this year. The person who has become my best friend, influenced most of the decisions I've made and who I have become terrified of losing. There's no faults with them that I have to push to the back of my mind. Everything they do reassures me more and more that I am disgustingly and sickeningly in love with them.
That's pretty much how my year has gone. With a terrible summer that dragged me right down due to having nothing left in this town.
Highlights revolve around music and friends as ever. I'm yet to find out how I'm spending my next year and it's slightly terrifying but if I feel like this at the end of next year then I couldn't care less what's happened.
Now I'm going to stop being so vomit worthy and go bring in the new year as usual, watching tv and going to bed early.