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31 December 2011 @ 09:13 pm
My favourite parts of this year were nights that only I probably remember. When we simply sat and talked about music and general crap one night and when we spent another just catching up and talking rubbish.
I think about these nights and think how happy I was and how happy they make me even now.
It's the little things.

This year I've been a soppy fucker and just fallen more in love.
31 December 2010 @ 08:23 pm
I don't use this any more. But I felt that I should keep up the tradition and write down what happened this year because it's been a good one.
It started out with me in tears in a toilet while the new year came in. I wasn't in love with my boyfriend. I'd just made myself think I was, I needed just one small reason to not hate this town. Something so that when I came back, I had something to come back to. I'd settled. We had hardly anything in common. He didn't understand so much about me. I realised all this after meeting someone, who in the space of 2 months knew me better than anyone. Someone who was so similar to me. I was falling in love and it was nothing like what I'd made myself feel before. This was someone who took the effort to see me, rather than me always being the one to go see them. They looked after me when I was ill or down or when I didn't even need it. They paid attention to me without me having to ask. Now I'm not stupid, everything's great until they get what they want right? Everyone sucks up to try and impress someone. This fear stuck with me but it came to the point that whether it was going to work or not, I couldn't carry on like I was. So I destroyed someone I promised I wouldn't. I'd feel worse if it wasn't for the fact that when I look back now I only feel annoyed by all the shitty little things I put up with. Now I had the choice of being with someone who could easily be someone completely different to who I thought, someone who knew all my bad points. Ironically, this was when they promised nothing would change.
This is the person who has been with me at all the best parts of this year. The person who has become my best friend, influenced most of the decisions I've made and who I have become terrified of losing. There's no faults with them that I have to push to the back of my mind. Everything they do reassures me more and more that I am disgustingly and sickeningly in love with them.
That's pretty much how my year has gone. With a terrible summer that dragged me right down due to having nothing left in this town.
Highlights revolve around music and friends as ever. I'm yet to find out how I'm spending my next year and it's slightly terrifying but if I feel like this at the end of next year then I couldn't care less what's happened.
Now I'm going to stop being so vomit worthy and go bring in the new year as usual, watching tv and going to bed early.
03 September 2010 @ 11:56 pm
I hate that without fail, every year, this town manages to crush me to the point of depression.
I need to get out soon.
Or someone to come and get me out of my own head at least.
07 July 2010 @ 07:43 pm
I have never been happier with my life than I am right now.
28 August 2009 @ 06:51 pm
I am in tears with laughter right now.
2 years ago they would be tears of joy.

Ohhhh Big JD, what a legend you are ='']
21 August 2009 @ 10:58 pm
Chemistry- C
Biology- C
Physics- C

Newcastle wanted BBC yet apparently are perfectly happy to take me anyway!
While this gets me excited to move out and start the rest of my life and enjoy some of the best years of my life, it means I now have a date to put to an ending and all I'm doing is counting down to then.
I can't help but feel the next 2 weeks are just a waste of time...
07 August 2009 @ 08:03 pm
Scared pretty much says it all right now.
Today is the last day of everything, the last day of waking up and being instantly happy without even having to think why.
The last day of real freedom.
The last day before everything comes down to the future.
Calm before the storm.
After today, the next big thing is leaving, which I am excited for, really.
Except right now I am what appears to be scared.

I don't want to lose everything that I have right now and apparently it takes a quiet night, sat outside, listening to my favourite albums, in the exact same way I realised everything else, for me to realise that.

From here on out, everything's a countdown.
02 July 2009 @ 12:22 am
I most definately hate the number three now.
God only knows what was happening last month, but as soon as it ends, everything goes back to normal again...what?
Sometimes things just get too weird.
22 June 2009 @ 07:25 pm
First proper day of my summer.
I spent it cleaning the house, spending 3 hours just on my room. I think I may have actually thrown away a trees worth of notes AND IT'S NOT EVEN ALL OF THEM.
Definately feels like I've wasted 2 years of my life. Weird.

The sun better come out soon or I will have nothing to do...

I'd kind of like things to sort themselves out already...
15 June 2009 @ 02:06 pm
The cooincidence of this scares you.
The feeling of missing out scares you.
The fact you don't have that one song when you think you should have it scares you.

Your world is not crashing down.
Don't start this all over again.
It's not the same.
Which sucks a little bit, because if it was then they'd be coming back.
But you've made it past the 12th and you've got so much more this time.

It is not the same.